emiliAduka - this is our now..

STRESSED??
Before the start of Ramadhan, i shall write this in TODAY, before midnite!..

i went to do my facial yesterday and got a shock of my life!... my beautician told me that my face is in a "very bad state" and it was "the worst state that she had ever done for me" since I started going to her!... wahlau!... can cry siah!....

anyways, thank god i went to her early!... i knew that my face has been giving me loads of problem coz of all the zits that's been popping out of nowhere!... she asked if i'm stressed - abt the wedding, perhaps?... NOOOOOO.... i think it's more of WORK!....

my desk is sooooo blardy messy that i juz couldn't take it anymore!.. I juz HAD to bloody clean it before i can do anymore work!... i spent half the morning cleaning my desk - throwing all the papers that i had lying on the table and i juz realised how much trees i had cut becoz of IOC!.. the shredder jammed on me 3x coz i was too impatient to put a teeny weeny amt of paper each time!.. and after ALL THAT time cleaning my desk.. at the end of the day, i still leave with a messy desk!!... brrrrr.... but at least, this time there's not a speck of desk!... haha..

oooooh!... really.. i can choke, drown, gag in this very messy process!!.... i wished i had taken over only like next year!... i juz feel that it's not fair that i was asked to take over NOW and be expected to think up of a new process, do a review (not 1 but 3 freakin programs, mind you!) and present my so-called findings and recommendations WHILE still clearing up the mess that someone's leave behind... which i can't say is entirely that person's fault coz there is a reason why this had been drifting along over the years!...

The past few days have made me feel less of an "Exec" but more and more like an SE... nooooo... not Senior Exec!... a Shit Exterminator!! brrrrr....

yeah.. yeah.. i admit... i'm such a freakin whiner!... but i ain't all negative lah... i definitely prefer doing wat i'm doing now, than having to go back to where i was 2yrs ago!.. ain't going back there no more! at least now it's more challenging and stimulating for my nearly dead brain.. i juz hope to God that my faith and my patience is not so tested from tomorrow onwards.. i don't wish to go "F@#*" here and there - everywhere - the entire day juz bcoz some "smarty pants" juz coudn't get it in their thick fucking skull that some things juz CANNOT be done!... and some things are best to be followed for better or worst - coz that's the fucking system, damn it!!!!! if i could make it better for EVERYBODY, of course i would!.. but FUCK!.. i'm not GOD!.. i can't think up of something and *ting!* everything is better than before - simpler even!!.. plssssss!!!.... even God would shake his head! there must be a balance and not everything is a bed of roses!... and not everything stays the same like 20yrs ago!.. for eg, ever look at yourself in the mirror??....

there's fucking changes everywhere!... grow up and OUT of the bubble and learn to accept the changing environment!... like i said, life's been too good "there" that everyone gets too comfortable that even their brains froze over the years of inactivity, perhaps!...

Oh!.. god!... i've gone "fucking" again!.. ok.. should stop here before another F-word is uttered!!... tomorrow is the start of fasting - a period of abstinence!... abstinence from everything including uttering vulgarities!... so, i promise - i'll try very, very hard NOT to write anymore blasphemous entries for the sake of Ramadhan..

To all my Muslim friends and the Muslim brothers and sisters all over the world..

May we all have a peaceful Ramadhan journey.. and may our ibadah be blessed by Allah (swt).

Happy Eid Mubarak!!... :)