emiliAduka - this is our now..

NERVOUS?... JITTERS?
hmmm... ppl's been asking me if i'm feeling "it" yet?..... errrrrm... am i supposed to feel anything... yet??....

Dearest side has been asking me yesterday... and they all seemed excited... only like a dot of the clan was there to celebrate Eid Mubarak... another dot of the clan not arrived yet... while the rest of the whole jing gang? I'll get to see them on our big day!... and the dot that was there yesterday was oh-soooooo-kecoh!...... it's fun, yes... but errrrr.... i can handle a dot.. but i dun think i can handle the whole jing gang.....

but niways, yes..... yesterday's visiting made me realise that the day is getting nearer... and i'm asking myself -
1. Am I prepared?
errrrrr..... emotionally - i am... spiritually - may not be.. physically - have to shed 5kilos...

2. What kind of a wife will I be?
Hisham thinks i'm a queen control freak!... bleagh!!!.... well, i may be... but i love my husband to be and I will respect him.. and the one thing I love in this relationship is, he loves me juz the way i am - control freak or not!.. hehehe.... but i'm very scared i'd go "against" him... like when he says no, i'll go stubborn and pout and say "yes"!... errrr..... is that wrong??.....

3. How will our marriage turn out?
A happy, smooth-sailing one i hope!.... *doa many2!* we're both pretty stubborn freaks!.. plus we've got difference of opinion on almost entirely everything!... (a real wonder how we manage to go through 7yrs together!) through sickness and health.. till death do us part.. Amin...

4. Kids?
Some ppl are expecting me to be expecting and receiving a baby by Dec 06/Jan 07!... imagine tat!... while I dun wanna have a baby so soon.. toooooo soon!.... i hope their mulut tak masin!!! But i hope my mulut is masin now - I hope to be prepared to be a mother and receiving my new-born by/in 2008!.. hmmm... is that kinda late to have babies?.. or should I actually start reading baby mags to get myself psyched up earlier?..

There's soooo many things to think abt going into my next phase of my life... an exciting journey. no doubt. Now that i'm actually asking all these questions and answering them out loud is giving me the jitters!....