BLEACHED
I'm having another short working week this week... *YEAY!!* we still can't settle on some stuff for Eshan's bday this weekend.. but wat the heck.. hopefully, it will all come together this weekend!.... :)

i went to treat my hair over the weekend.... but my real intention was i wanted to change my curls... but my hairdresser told me not to do anything except cut, treat & highlight.. so, oklor... i trusted him and he did his thang.. and voila! i came out with bleached, streak hair! :( well, he didn't tell me that it was bleached but it obviously looked bleached!... brrr... i hope it won't spoil my already spoilt hair...

while typing out this entry, this guy juz popped over demanding for something for some biggie and fuck!.. when i said demanding he really demanded!.... how blardy rude!... u dun ask someone rudely when u're the one in need k?!... arse hole!.... and this is not the first time he's stepped on my toes...

oh!... btw, i did some egg tarts for Yanti yesterday and it didn't turn out as nice as the first time she had it.. even Dearest commented that my egg tart yest was not as sweet... and after some time, i think i finally know why!... i think it's the butter (because tat's the only difference in the making of yesterday's tarts)!!... i used a more expensive butter yest.. and hmmm... prolly need to switch back to the cheaper brand B/u/t/t/e/r/c/u/p which i usually use to do my egg tarts... i'll go try it out and confirm this later..

anyways, i'm sorry yanti tat the egg tarts didn't turn out as well as u hoped!.... jgn serik eh... and thanks for your support! :)

MADE IN CINA COUNTRY..
they've done it again!... selling recycled disposable bamboo chopsticks without disinfecting it!... eeuuwwww!!..... how do i use those disposable bamboo chopsticks without a nagging voice at the back of my head asking me if this is one of those damn undisinfected chopsticks!... gaaaahh!!

fyi, if u hadn't already known - toys were found containing high amounts of lead. blankets and pyjamas were found containing high contents of something tat can cause fire easily and now, this!?! Food for dog were contaminated coz the dogs were violently ill after consuming them.. sheesh!....

now, i must make a habit to check out the Made in ??? esp stuffs for my boy.. but i think it's gonna be a bit difficult to be choosy coz a lot of the stuff are Made from there!.... gaaaah!!... how eh??....

btw, we went to Amirah's Grill last nite and the food is absolutely delicious lah dey!... yummy! yummy! yum! yum! i ate till i'm freakin full.. i intend to fast today but i couldn't wake up for sahur.. but i'm still feeling full so, let's see if i can fast the whole day today!... hehehee.... ;)

POO, POO & MORE POO!
i've been feeling soooo sleepy the past 2 days!... :( Eshan's been waking up in the middle of the nite and only got back to sleep an hour later!.... yesterday lagi best!... he woke up for his feed.. but he only took in half of his milk and then started playing around with the bottle...

so, as a practice, i'd normally change his diapers coz his lousy P/U/R/E/E/N pampers cannot take the weight till morning!... i was cleaning him up and juz when i wanted to take the pampers off his butt, he pooed!.... i tot!.. wah!.. luckily not new pampers... but bcoz he was pooing in the open, his legs fell off my grasp and hit his poo and he kick me in the legs with that gooey poo!... grrrr....

and when i tot it was all over, i took away his gooey, smelly pampers off him and out came another load of stinky, watery poo!... aaaaahh!!.... luckily, he was on the rubber mat!!.... haizzzz... dah lagi satu kerja!... the things mothers do for their kids... not that i'm complaining, hor! (in case my msg gets misinterpreted again!)

we visited a colleague whose wife juz delivered.. and seein the new-born brought back memories of my lil' Eshan when he first came into this world.. the joy he brought to our lives beats everything else and seeing him smile makes my day!... mama love you, baby!!!..... *muacksss!!!* and this mama is missing his other baby!!!..... papa, i misss U!!!!!....... i'm sure baby Eshan misses you too!!!.... *muaccckssss!!*... cepat2 balik eh....

THANK YOUs, DONUTS, A NEW FREN..
Before i begin, i thank all who's given me their 2cents worth and a very insightful knowledge of donning the tudung and the hukum2 of this and that... btw, i do know my hukum2 (thank you very much!) but it all boils down to nawaitu... (again, this is my opinion).. i seriously dun see how you can don the tudung, and still do this and that (tat is against our religion's teaching)..

Once you don the tudung, there's no 2 ways abt it... i know this can go on forever... but wateva it is, you have your views (and i respect that) and i have mine.. i'll answer to Him myself when the time comes..

so anyways, on Friday, i had 2hrs to kill before i can move the car!... so, i made up my mind to que for those damn donuts that i heard so much before!... and que i did!.... a whole hour before i get to those damn, nice donuts!!..... every single piece of donut (all 24 of them) were worth queing up for!.. ahhahahhaa..... thank god!!!

and because Dearest was away, i finally took out the Tigger that we bought for Eshan like eons ago!... hahahhaa.... it's his new best fren now... he's made it his new companion for sleep... :)

he was also mostly on his belly over the weekend.. my boy is stronger now and when he's tired, he'll give me a very cute face before he gets exasperated coz he can't turn himself over... hahahhaa...

I'm tired lah, mama..

TO WEAR OR NOT TO WEAR
We were talking cock after class yesterday and a fren said everytime she told her husband that she wants to curl her hair or colour it or wat nots, her husband's reply is always the same "haiz.. ingatkan u nak cakap u nak pakai tudung ke, nak cover up ke.."

isn't tat every Muslim husband's dream?

i know for sure my husband would be one happy man if i decide to don the tudung one day... but dearest, i'm sorry to burst ur bubble!... i don't think i'll be in one anytime soon hor...

the day i don the tudung,
i will no longer be swearing and using vulgarities at all
i will not miss one prayer in a day
i will not be visiting any non-halal certified eateries
i have to overhaul my wardrobe
i will be more demure and very sopan-santun
i promise to wear it forever and be a proper Muslimah that my husband and children can be proud of..

i see too many kids nowadays don the tudung but behaving intimately with their boyfriends or acting pretty crudely in public.. seriously, i do wonder if they're wearing it out of their own free will or their parents force it upon them to wear it??.. i've also seen others who use it as and when they like it as if the tudung is a piece of hair accessory to hide a bad hair day... and then there are others who wear it and for some reason, no longer want to wear it..

now, these are really the black sheeps of the society.. i have non-Muslim friends who, upon encountering any of the scenarios above, asked me the "Y?" questions and the "can meh?" questions.. how to answer to that??....

i know i'm in no position to do any lecturing on this topic here but juz a pce of advise - before deciding on whether u should wear it or not, think over it carefully coz there's no turning back once you've decided on wearing it.. there's no excuse not to wear it and the only place where u don't wear it is at home in the presence of your family. And donning the tudung is an identity associated with being a Muslim. So, wear it with pride and behave like how a true Muslimah should behave. And the parents shouldn't force it on the children either coz i believe, the more you force, the more they will rebel. they may leave the house wearing it but take it out once they're out of sight!...

A SNAKE, AN AWAKE BABE & Ms JEPUN-NE
I can't believe i slept 90% of the time in front of the telly watching Ms Universe, waking up juz in time to see Ms Jepun answer her question and see her crowned Ms Universe 2007. gaaaahh!!... btw, i dun think she answered her question with the brightest of minds.. but wat the heck! prolly the rest were worst - that's y she got the crown!... hmmmm....

over the weekend, it was a weeeeter bit exciting.. Daddy stumbled upon a snake in the dry kitchen (read: it's oredi inside the hse!!)!... he thinks it might be a baby python.. it's abt half a meter long and got "caught" between his sarong!... kwang.. kwang.. kwang.. luckily, he went to the kitchen on time to catch it.. if not, it could have gotten into nyayi's room and then, i dun wanna even think abt it!....

so now, the wet kitchen is lighted every nite.. we're gonna have to pour sulphur (?) around the kitchen premise so that snakes will not wanna enter... something like that... *shudders*.. thinking abt it, i must make sure i'm with Eshan all the time...

while that incident happened at home, we were out "shopping" but as usual, when i say i wanna shop, i'll end up with nothing!... *boo!* it was eventful coz Eshan was awake practically 90% of the time!... most time we bring him out, he's asleep 99.9% of the time!..

he's now more awake than before... though i dun think that he's that active.. hmmm... but i do have to thank my lucky stars that so far, he's been easy to take care of... he'll be 2mths this weekend!... tat means, i have abt 4more wks with him at home before i have to head back to work!... aaaaaggghhh!!!........

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

i know.. it's a day's late.. but HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all mothers esp to first-time mothers like moi! ;)

After being a mother myself, i then realise how much mothers sacrifice for their child(ren) and the love they put in to bring up their child(ren). Recalling wat Rasullah s.a.w said when a sahabat asked regarding the priorities of taking care of parents:

First comes your Mother

Second comes your Mother

Third comes your Mother

And then your Father..

That showed how precious Mothers are in the eyes of GOD..

Through this experience the past 1+ mths, i've learnt to be more grateful to my own mother and to love her like how i've loved my son.. Thank you, Mummy!!....

FALLING ASLEEP...
i'm literally falling asleep the whole of today!... been dozing off while doing some reading... and i juz can't seem to open my eyes until i pop in a few M&M minis!... and now at least half the tube is gone!!.... shit!.. i better curb my snacking rendevous siah!!... not hungry but keep munching!.. uurrrgghh!!!... ;(

anyways, yest, the girls - Fahma, Leen and Carolyn gave me a surprise bday "treat"... juz nice for tea time actually!.. hahahhaa.... thanks girls!!!... nevermind if it's belated!... it's the tot that counts!! ;)

and thank god it didn't rain last nite!!..... my cuzzin got her party underway as planned.. al-hamdulillah.. and boy!.. did she invite a LOT of her friends over!!!..... waaahahhahaa..... al-maklum.. they may not see each other as often since they're all graduating and prolly going to the different institutions and/or going their separate ways... aaaah... reminded me of my secondary school class-mates.. wonder wat happened to them eh??.... hmmmm....

but anyways, the food damn kick-ass nice!.... basically, i juz stuffed myself with satay and chicken wings!.... they're finger-licking goooooddd!!!..... speaking of it make me wanna eat some more now!.... damn!!.... pfft!... i ate till i was sooooo full last nite but this morning, i woke up, feeling sooooo hungry!.... alamak!.. how liddat?!....

ON MC..
Just been to the doc's... and can i request to give the doc a tight bitch-slap?... urrrrgghh!!.... he asked me questions with a straight face that screamed - "PUNCH ME!"...

when i answer, he nodded. wrote some notes. silent. ask question. answer. nodded. hear my lungs - front. back. wrote some notes. silent. all these while sitting on his ass and me having to move myself about, feeling uncomfortable!... baaaaah!..... wtf!...

the clinic's lucky that this doc is a replacement one... i dun think anyone would wanna go back to the clinic if he's the doc!...

oh!... and yesterday, was on the MRT to Woodlands after my check-up with my gynae... annnnddd this one Singaporean lady is also asking for a jab from me when she started pushing me while trying to get out of the MRT!.... like "Hello! Woman!... i'm going out too, rite?!" alamak!!!.... macam nak kena terajang betul sey!!.... such an impatient bitch!... so wat did this oredi irritated, pregnant woman do?... turned around, gave her my fiercest stare and grunted a loud "hmph!".... even Dearest got a shock when he heard that grunt!... hahaha... he was oblivious coz he was in front of me bull-dozing the way for us mah.... ;)

i was supposed to do the 3D scan of my babe yest... but, the doc said that the babe's not in the right position to do it... so.. haiiizzz... have to wait for another month.... and we found out that my placenta is pretty low... it's at the borderline and there's a slight chance that i may not be able to deliver normally... :( so now, i'm hoping and praying that the placenta will go up in the the nx few mths so that i've got a good chance of having a normal delivery!....

oh!... we have kinda settled on a name for the babe.. i wanted to start calling the babe by the name but Dearest, in his usual paranoid mode, is against it.. reason?... he's worried that the babe may not be a boy afterall!.... alamak!!.. the detailed scan should be more accurate than juz the normal scan rite??.... can someone pls tell him that!!!..... *exasperated!*

CROSSING THE CAUSEWAY??...
i was reading TODAY and read abt our Singaporeans who got kidnapped and robbed in JB recently... that made me all the more wary to go back to JB!!.....

ever since the incident that happened in March 2004, i dare not step into JB... even though i wasn't hurt in any way, that one incident alone scarred me.. i still cower or cringe everytime i hear a loud, screeching bike ride past us... in a car, in a group - yes.. i'd be more willing but if u ask me to go in juz the 2 of us or a few ppl in juz 1 car, hmmmm..... i'd be very, very half-hearted...

too many incidents, too many reports abt ppl robbed, parang-ed, killed, blah.. blah.. in JB... B juz told me that her mother's car's windows were smashed with a rock when her bro drove the car there!... they tried to take away the radio set.. but when they couldn't take it out, they left only with the outer casing of the radio.. like that also shiok?!... pantat!!!....

we've got an invitation during the X'mas holiday to JB - Dearest's relative... the family's been asking when me and Dearest would go down to visit... everytime i'd answer, "insya-allah" but i know deep down, it won't be anytime sooooon....

WAT'S HAPPENING?
the company's internet system was not working over the weekend and sooooo, baaaah... no updates!!!..... :( on Friday, i wanted to tell everyone that i have reached yet another milestone in my pregnancy... i can't put on my wedding ring anymore!!!.... :( very the sad!!......

couldn't believe the day has come... my already stubby fingers got stubbi-er (if there's ever such a word!) my fingers will definitely shrink after delivery rite??... rite??.. rite??... hmmm..... *i hope so!*.. can't afford to have chubbier, stubbier fingers!...

Over the weekend, i tried a new cupcake recipe.. and yeay!.. yeay!... it tasted nice except for the fact that you can bite into chunks of lemon rind!!.. coz lazy me, didn't grate it!.. kwang. kwang.. kwang... will definitely try it again...

for this recipe, click here..

and then yesterday, had my much awaited shopping session with Dearest.. only that i didn't manage to shop for things that i really need!!... *wat's really new?!* but i did quite shop till i drop!... hahahha.....

we went to Vivo City to experience to mega-shopping experience... first feel when we stepped into the mall, it felt like i was KLCC... but after doing the rounds, it's not a big a shopping centre as i had envisioned it to be - wat with everyone saying that it's huge and it takes a while to actually go from one shop to another...

but i do lurve it's transformation!!.... it reminded us of the time when we were still dating.. studying there with our friends, "romancing" by the bay looking over Sentosa.. waaahhaha....

and we watched this group of peeps playing some instruments... and we were quite intrigued with these girls who were playing some strings that were hung from the top of the mall to their one wooden instrument...

see how the 2 ladies have their hands up in the air??... they were tugging or wateva u call it on the strings... we couldn't really make out the sound from the strings though... but it was interesting!...

at the end of the day, I had fun shopping with him.. he had fun seeing me walk till i drop.. but ultimately, WE had fun spending the time with each other after the past stressful exam weeks!..

TOUCHED BUT EMBARASSED..
Now, i understand what Joy experienced when someone recognised that you're pregnant and wanna give you his/her seat! Only this time, this kind soul is also standing!!...

see, i was on way to work on the MRT and as usual, had to stand lah.. ppl all "sleeping" mah... i was standing behind this nyonya and then suddenly 1 man and 1 woman started rushing and pushing us.. i definitely got irritated.. and the nyonya in front of me got irritated too and kept turning back to look at the 2 idiots.. the woman who pushed me stood rite in front of me with her bag pointed very near my tummy!... that kind nyonya saw my bloated tummy and told the woman to be careful coz i'm pregnant and then asked me if i wanted a seat.. i was soooo touched at that moment but of course declined lah...

and then, she did the unthinkable!.. she asked this man who was sitting to stand up to give me a seat!... kwang.. kwang.. kwang... i think i was flushed and flustered... ppl were staring and looking at the slight commotion... i quickly said thank you and sat down.. and then, the nyonya told me in quite a loud voice - "next time must open mouth. Ppl all 'sleeping'!" - in a sarcastic kind of voice!.... waaaah!... nyonya very daring lor... i'm ever sooooo grateful to this kind nyonya but at the same time embarassed coz it's not that i minded standing...

the moral of the story is, there are still kind souls out there who'd give up their seat or are willing to stand up for the "needy".. but of course, there are even MORE "action sleeping, action dunno" ppl who are unwilling to give up their seat to the more "needy" ones.. and then, there would also be a few extremely selfish ones who snatches your seat, that was given to you by a kind soul who ought be be given a tight, bitch-slap... so, ask yourself - "which one are you?"

WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND..

Y is it that ppl are asking other ppl abt me and my "lil secret" when all they have to do is ask me straight in the face abt my growing tummy?... so today, i braved myself, using a maternity top to work - blatantly screaming (silently) - I'm PREGNANT!... so plsssss... ask me if u want to... dun ask my frenz anymore!....

Y is it that you'd wanna squeeze your fat self, on a 2-seater (in an MRT) with another fat one??.. see, i dun mean to be rude and i certainly don't have anything against fat women/men!... i am FAT myself... but if you're bigger than me, and i'm already taking up a full seat, don't you think that you'll be squashing me if you're to sit next to me on that cozy 2-seat??.... and yes.. i was practically squashed yesterday.. i couldn't breathe.. coz my breast was clumped together.. i had to sit out for air and i had to hold on to the railing to push myself up.. it's that cozy!!!.... and i'm not exaggerating!!...

Y is it that i've darken and my T-zone is more oilier than before??... now, i have to blot my nose at least 3 times a day.. has it got to do with my changing hormones or wat??.... but it sure is weird looking in the mirror at my darker, oilier, self!!.... :(

Y is it that i can't seem to talk to my babe even when no one's around?... i feel weird talking to my tummy.. i tried once. i was practically whispering!.. and it's worrying me coz i dun want my babe to NOT know it's mummy!... i'm thinking of buying story books to read out to the babe.. well.. that's a start right??... or wat do you experienced mothers suggest i do??..... plsssss heelllppp...... thank you very much!